As I put it to words, this is what I felt my understanding of Love is:

Love is the measure of your connection to all things. The truer the love, the greater the connection. This includes love for self. On the same token, love for others is completely independent of them. For instance, my love for others has nothing to do with them. I choose to give my love, how much and in which ways. All I’m saying is that you start with yourself, and that the more purely you love yourself, the more purely you will love others.

The amount a person neglects to love others is an exact measure of how little they love themselves. How do you love yourself? How in tune are you with yourself? How judgmental or accepting are you of You? Or not. These answers can help you determine where you are and where you want to be.

People are not good or bad. We are mistaught the concept of good and bad. People are people, performing blessings and atrocities all through life. To expect more than this is folly. We’re all on journeys. When we’re up we say life is good. When we’re down we say life is bad. But it’s neither. It’s what you make it. If you can make life ‘good’ when you’re down, I’d say youre onto something. If you can cut through the bullshit of judgments and expectations and see people as they really are, and exercise compassion and Love, then this is heaven.

What is YOUR definition of Love? Inquiring minds want to know

It’s as many parents deal with children, don’t you think? As children, we learn that we shouldn’t do certain things, or exhibit certain behaviors. But we’re not told the ‘why’. We just learn that we should in order to please God, or to function in our environment.

Well, it’s time to put old habits behind, and how are you going to do it? Using the above system? I don’t think so. Try a different approach…

1. Awareness/Acceptance
2. Identify the triggers
3. Delay and redirect

One of my bad habits is {drum roll please}…. DISTRACTION! I’m so easily distracted. There’s so many entertaining distractions these days, it’s hard NOT to get caught up in it.

Why do I think distractions are bad for me? Because I have other goals in life than just being entertained. I’m anxious to be engaged in good causes. I have financial and health goals. And all the while I am stuck in distraction, I see those goals slip behind.

So! Let’s talk about shirking distraction, and otherwise defeating ‘bad’ habits. I put ‘bad’ in quotation marks because they really aren’t necessarily bad. The truth is that they are undesired. Smokers might think the consequences of decreased health and life expectancy as undesirable. I think having a goal of vacationing in Fiji and not achieving it is undesirable

The difficult thing about habits is that they are actually addictions. We have very real addictions — mental, emotional, physical, hormonal — that keep us somewhat trapped in them. Somewhere in our behaviors there is an immediate gratification, an instant payoff that keeps us coming back for more. It took time building those addictions, it will take time to dismantle them.

First, you must become aware of your habit or addiction. This might seem obvious. But, in one of my favorite movies of all time, “American Beauty”, one of the characters says, “Never underestimate the power of denial”. It’s TRUE! Sometimes we would much rather deny we have a ‘problem’, and just cope. In this step it’s important to withhold judgment. Judgment will do you no good. Slapping yourself on the wrist will do…no good. Simply become aware, and move on to the next step:

Identify the triggers. When I work, sometimes it helps to have the television on in the background. Just for some background noise. Believe it or not, it helps me focus. ….Usually. But sometimes I just get distracted. Another trigger I have is other websites — news, blogs, wikipedia, online games, you name it, there’s plenty of opportunity. But I know now, that these things lead me to distraction, wasting hoards of precious time, and making me feel guilty for not being wiser with my energy. So I started doing the following, and it’s worked:

Delay and redirect. Instead of turning on the TV, I say, “Okay, I can turn on the TV, but first… I am going to do something that supports my personal goals,” or “I will visit my favorite news website for 5 minutes, but first, I’m going to finish this task.” You see, I want to be distracted. And since I work for myself, there’s no one to watch my back but me. So I have to flex those muscles of focus, and concentration. Those muscles of self-control become weak when your habits become strong. The point here is to exercise, stretch, and strengthen your self-supporting muscles.

Remember,
1. Awareness/Acceptance
2. Identify the triggers
3. Delay and redirect

Write it down. Grab a timer and use it. Be disciplined, and you will see, bit by bit, your undesired habits will weaken and change. In fact, your interest in them will start to fall away altogether. For instance, my TV isn’t on right now. I said, “Okay, I can turn on the TV, but first, I am going to write this article.” And now, not only have I written an article that will hopefully benefit others, I’m actually enjoying the peace and quiet!

Namaste

Walking like this is dangerous — not looking where you’re walking, or better said — not walking where you’re looking. You don’t see the pitfalls coming up and you can get stuck!

What do I mean? I mean, you think that because you read a book or watched a movie, and became aware of a concept, that things should suddenly change in your life. You think because you created a vision board that things should magically start popping up on your doorstep — $1 million, a new house, that car you always wanted.

One of my favorite quotes from the TV show NCIS is: “If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you always got.” This is true. Of course miracles happen. But you can’t sit around waiting for them to happen. The Universe depends on you for direction.

Now, what does this dangerous pitfall look like? Well, it appears in questions like, “Why don’t I have my car yet?”, “Why don’t I have my million dollars yet?”, “Why haven’t I lost 50 lbs. yet? I’m doing all the work. I’ve made my vision board. But nothing’s changing!”

Well, let me ask you a question. What did you do today that was different from yesterday? Did you make conscious efforts to raise your energy level? That’s really the point of focusing on a vision board. To re-engage you in the process of evolution. To raise your vibration level.

Why is this such a dangerous pitfall? Think of where your focus is. Is it REALLY on your goal? No. Your focus is now turned to what you don’t have. Your focus is now on your WANT. And what you focus on expands, so your WANTING for things, will continue to grow, and you will feel further and further from your goal. You will feel more and more desperate, and more likely to give up. But don’t give up!!

Who would you want to be if you had a million dollars? Who would you want to be if you lost weight, put on more muscle, had more peace, patience, whatever you endeavor to manifest?

This is your focus. WHO you are endeavoring to become. HOW you would be when you reached your goal. Be that person today. It’s tough, believe me I know. But one step at a time. Choose ONE situation you will improve. One habit you will change. One constant reaction you will alter to result in a better outcome. Make this your focus, and you will be back on your way.

Set your eye on the goal, then turn your feet to follow suit.

Happy trails!

Manifestation is like a box of chocolates...

Since we’ve been on the subject of manifestation, I thought it would be fun to share some of the creative variations that may show up. The Universe is still a bit of a mystery to me

Yesterday I awoke in a very bad mood. I could tell it was heavy enough that it would not go away easily. I thought I would try my hand at manifesting a positive attitude. I wasn’t sure how well it would take, since deep down I really feel attitude is my responsibility. But, I figured, if I am One with the Universe, then I could rely on the Universe for help.

Something funny happened. My negative attitude did not go away. It did not lighten. I did my best with mantras, and breathing, but that dark little cloud kept hanging around. Grr!

The funny thing was… everyone around me had great, happy, upbeat attitudes. Even several people who normally are dark little rain clouds of their own. I was intrigued. Bewildered, because even more, they didn’t seem to notice my own crappy attitude.

Anyway, I was grateful. Evening time, my negativity gave way to ambivalence, but it was a good day.

What do YOU think happened?

I usually coin this story “My Second Date to Hell,” (I have 3), but truth be told, it was one of the best experiences in my life. But, as the name would suggest, it was borne of some tribulation.

It starts when I was studying at Gonzaga University, majoring in Organ Performance and Pedagogy. A fellow organist called, and very excitedly told me about a great organ concert by famous organist Stephen Cleobury that was to happen that evening… in Seattle. I had time, and was excited, so called another friend to go with me, and just an hour later we were off on the 4-hour drive.

Half way to Seattle, tragedy struck. I’d never made the drive before, so didn’t know there is a very high mountain pass on the way. As we headed into Snoqualmie pass things seemed fine at first. But then dark clouds loomed, and a heavy snowfall prevailed. It was a freak snow storm, and we were caught in it. Traffic came to a dead stop, and was backed up for miles and miles.

It stayed this way for hours. My friend and I passed the time as we watched the clock tick — the opportunity to experience a great performance wasting away. We were stopped for 2 hours before traffic finally started again at a meager crawl.

We resumed our journey filled with anxious hope that we might catch some part of the event. Even seeing the end would mean we didn’t go for nothing. But then, tragedy struck again. I had called the Cathedral of St. Mark’s ahead of time for directions. Unfortunately, the person helping me gave incorrect directions, and we got terribly lost. Seattle is not the easiest town to navigate.

By the time we got back on course, it was too late. Just barely too late. As we drove up to the cathedral, the audience was leaving. In fact, who was crossing in front of our car? None other than the friend who had invited me. I was so disappointed. My friend and I walked into the cathedral, just to see it. It’s an amazing piece of architecture. There was a poster for the event hanging on the wall, and I asked a person cleaning up if I could take it. We got to talking and I mentioned our difficulty getting there, and that we missed the concert.

Turns out he was the assistant organist. He had made a recording of the concert, and said if we came back the next morning, we could get a copy. It seemed better than leaving empty-handed, so we took him up on the offer.

The next day, we went back. The organ there is truly amazing. I explained different aspects of the organ to my interested friend. (Well, she acted like she was, anyway, lol.) The assistant organist noticed that I was familiar with organs, and invited us up into the loft. Cool! As we talked, I told him I was a student. He was impressed, so flipped the organ on, and let me sit down and play.

Ok, I was in heaven! The clear, powerful sound of that organ was such a pleasure, and getting to play the instrument was even more so. I started by playing quietly, gradually playing louder, and more difficult pieces, until I had pulled out ALL the stops, filling the giant cathedral with majestic music.

After finishing a piece, the organist yelled up from the main floor. He was very impressed. He ran back up to the loft to talk. He invited me to play at the weekly radio show that the cathedral puts on. I was floored. Never, never in my wildest imagination would I have imagined that I could see the organ loft. Even less would I have thought to play, or be asked to perform on live radio.

That, my friends, is the reason for this story. I want to illustrate that we never know how things are going to turn out. Being present in every moment will allow you to make the most of every situation — especially those which you have no control over. I could have sat in that snowy pass, angry and resentful. But I didn’t. My friend and I made the most of that situation too, getting out of the car, talking to other drivers, having a snowball fight with a group of kids.

The moral of the story? Trust. Trust yourself. Trust the Universe. Trust time. Believe that what the Universe is cooking up for you might be even better than you could have imagined. Be present for EVERYTHING that comes across your path. See the opportunities in all things.

This is life, friends. Enjoy it. And what you don’t enjoy — appreciate.

Below is a list of some thoughts on manifesting your desires. Some people get excited and create a vision board with house, and car, and dream vacation, then get disenfranchised when it doesn’t come about right away. “Oh, this just doesn’t work,” they say. That exercise is fine, but in following the steps below, I would say to pick one at a time to focus on consciously.

1. Tune in to your destiny – This means being quiet. Set aside some Time and Space to nurture your relationship with the Universe — to tune into the threads of your destiny. This means listening, seeing into the realms of possibility. 98% of our lives run along the course of probability, and this is what we’re used to — letting our lives run the course of ‘what happened yesterday will probably happen again today.’

2. Zero in – Once you’ve imagined the life of your dreams, zero in on the ‘Why.’ Why did you envision a certain life or experience for yourself? It was probably for the feelings and emotions of that experience. Fun, joy, relief, peace, exhilaration. Was it the joy of giving? Was it relief from a situation? Was it peace in fulfilling your purpose in life? Write it down.

3. Plan it – This is the ‘fun’ stage most people like, where you create a vision board of your intended manifestation. It doesn’t have to be magazine cutouts, it could be a video, or even a list. This is what you will consult every day to keep you on target. BUT… you must also plan for some daily changes. Life isn’t going to be different once you get that dream home, or sports car. It’s going to change today.

4. Create it – What are you doing today to bring your vision about? Here’s the place where people get stuck. We think manifestation is easy. The Universe does all the work. Well, sometimes the shiny red bike shows up because we asked the Universe for it. But most requests we make require some action on our part. Daily action.

Consult Step 2. What was the why? Can you create that experience in some smaller way, today?

5. Patience – Your vision may come about in many other ways than what you imagine possible. Also, it may take some time. If you want to be a millionaire, yes, it could happen overnight. But more likely it will take time and effort. It will take many preparatory experiences before you are truly prepared to receive the gifts you ask for.

Happy manifesting!

What’s this blog post really about? The art of manifestation. It’s a commentary on the concepts described in the book and video “The Secret”. I think many people understand the power of manifestation, but we neglect the art of manifestation.

I’ve heard of so many people getting disenfranchised by “The Secret”, because they misunderstand the art of manifestation. So what I propose to you is: Experiment. I had to. Here’s my story.

I had seen “The Secret”, and it very much aligned with what I believe to be true about the Universe — that it is infinitely abundant, that it is no respecter of persons, AND that anything is possible. So, I went about manifesting. And lots of manifestation happened (got the condo I wanted, job I asked for, etc.). But I wasn’t really sure if things were just happening by coincidence, or because I was actually manifesting it.

So, I decided to throw the Universe a curve-ball. I woke up one morning and picked the most random thing I could think of, and sent out the intention to see if it would be heard. I said, “If I truly have the power to manifest, then I will see 3 red hats today.” (Years later, I still feel satisfied that that was a sufficient test.)

I commenced my day as normal, but I definitely made some changes. I knew that it was possible for 3 red hats to come into my office, but it was far from probable. So I decided to put myself where hats were more likely to be. On my breaks I went outside.

The first red hat was on such a break. I was walking, but boy was I keeping an eye out for red hats. I caught the first one in a flash. There was only a gap of about 2 seconds — if I or the person wearing it had been walking any faster or slower, I never would have seen it. So that seemed like a good sign.

The second one showed up soon after, and I was feeling good about the course of the day. But the day continued to progress, and as it got later, I was not seeing any hats. I didn’t want to cheat, so hat stores, and television programs didn’t count. This was a serious experiment

I had to work very late that day, so I began to feel desperate about whether my manifestation would come about or not. Next stop was the gym. And then home. I was starting to doubt, seriously. It was a TRUE effort to knuckle down and express faith in the infinite nature of the Universe.

I walked into the gym, and nothing. No hats. Not even red ones. But I didn’t lose faith. The Universe is infinite. I continued with my workout. Minutes before I was to go home, I was preparing to drive around town until I saw a hat. The likelihood of that yielding results was slim. Still, my faith persisted. “I trust you Universe,” I said.

Lo and behold, someone walked into the gym, not with just a red hat, but with his whole outfit was bright, bright red. That was it, my manifestation for the day.

It may seem a silly story to you, but it told me two things:
1) Yes, we do have a relationship with the Universe, and
2) Yes, we do have the power to create, to attract, to manifest.

It comes easier for some than for others. My next blog post will describe a bit more about the Art of Manifestation. Trust me, I’m no expert, but like you, I believe, and I have successfully experimented.

So I leave you with just this question:
“Did my thoughts and actions today reflect my vision for tomorrow?”

Today, I’d like to make quick mention of balancing the “Necessities of life” with the “Niceties of life”.

Sit back for a moment and look where you spend most of your energy. Your energy is a precious commodity, so you should choose wisely where to direct it. Make a list. Is your focus where it should be? Perhaps you’re spending too much time chasing after empty dreams (a car, a facelift, a getaway vacation…) Could it be you NEED that getaway vacation so badly because you’ve been working so hard just to save up for it?

Decide, what are the necessities in life. If you need to simplify, simplify! If you need peace of mind, don’t postpone it for when you’re sitting on sandy beaches 1,000 miles away. Have some now. Right now. Stop what you’re doing, and take a few moments to breathe, calm the mind, experience peace right now.

THAT SAID!…

Perhaps you step back and notice you’re focusing too much on the Necessities of life. There’s nothing fun or interesting going on. You get up, make it through work, run errands, take care of kids, eat dinner, crash in front of the TV, and fall asleep just in time to do it all over again.

Well then, add some SPICE to your life! Go do an activity. Get away. Go to a park, a play, a pool. Do something close, but different. Save up for a meal out with friends or a special someone. Life was not meant to be lived by necessities only. It’s meant to be lived to the fullest.

THAT SAID!…

Take a good hard look. Too much spice CAN ruin a good thing. Find that balance in life where you’re having fun, spicing things up, but not getting so caught up in activities that you forget yourself.

“Live beyond surviving: Thrive!” ~XN

A friend of mine has been avoiding meditation for years. This isn’t an “I just don’t have 5 minutes to stop and do nothing — I’m a busy woman,” attitude, it’s a “Meditation scares me, I’m not gonna do it, it ain’t gonna happen, and you’re not the boss of me so you can’t make me,” attitude.

While most people will tell you they’re too busy to meditate, what you’ll find is that meditation actually scares most people who aren’t familiar with it. There are (unfounded) religious connotations, even spiritual connotations, psychological aversions, the “woo-woo” factor… and while none of these fears are logical or correct, they are enough to stop people from benefiting from meditation.

Well, my friend finally meditated. Another friend finally convinced her to go to a class with her. In her own words:

“I went to a meditation session on Saturday morning for the first time ever. [My friend, meaning me] has been encouraging me to meditate for years now, but it’s just never something that I’ve had much patience for. I’ve dabbled here and there, and it’s helped at times but it’s not something I’ve ever tried to make permanent. Well, the workshop was good and I was able to stay pretty still the whole time (each of my feet fell asleep at one point or another, and I slumped forward, but I was pretty happy with myself!). It was a meditation focused on breathing. Counting breaths, then just flowing with the breaths and imagining them as waves against the shore…it was interesting. There was part of my brain that was like, “Aaah, I want to get out of this room!” but I kept it under control and I stayed for the whole one-hour session. I felt calm afterward, and … I did feel calm for the rest of the day.”

Oh yeah, some people think meditation is ‘sitting still’, and think they just couldn’t do it. Another misconception. My response to the above was:

“For the record, your brain is like a hamster in its wheel, spinning wildly around and getting no where but worn out. Meditation is merely “freeing the hamster” and letting it go free. It’s scary to be out of the cage, because well… “NOW what???” It keeps running wildly, because that’s all it’s been allowed to do for so long. As a meditator, your focus is to just let the hamster run free. Notice where it runs, and just have no judgments about it. Eventually your brain learns there’s more to life than chasing after things (vain ambitions, material possessions, validation from others…). It realizes what it wants, and understands that to get it, you get it consciously, not by spinning your wheels.”

Meditation is actually FREEDOM! And THAT is what so many avoid. Letting your mind think outside of the ‘safe’ little box and being free for a while. Another way to describe meditation is: Just Being. Nothing more. Just being. Here. Now. In the present. Embracing the moment. And you can do that anywhere, anytime. But most of us don’t. We’re too busy judging and defining the situation at hand. Our mind is measuring whether we’re safe or not. And while we’re busy thinking, life is happening all around us, and we miss out on the experience.

What does that mean?

For me right now, it means writing this post. But while writing, not doing it in haste while thinking of the thousand other things I need to get done today. It means realizing that it is a beautiful Sunday outside, and listening to the doves cooing on my porch, and notice the other birds gathering branches to build their nests. It means being tuned in to the lazy drum outside, my quiet apartment inside. In this place, I feel connected to them. This is meditation.

For many, meditation is watching TV. “You know, I just need to tune out once in a while.” This is true, the brain needs to tune out from the hubbub and noise of the world. The noise of your own brain. But TV does not do that. Your brain may not be thinking for itself, but you’re filling it with more noise and light pollution. More garbage that needs emptied out later. You’re still stuck in your head, watching people live mind-created dramas. Monkey see monkey do.

What’s the assignment for this week?

Nay, for the rest of your life. Tune in! Meditation is not tuning out, it’s tuning back in. Plugging in to Life. It means not missing out on a single moment because you’re so fully embracing what is enfolding right before you. It means Just Being.

Stop several times throughout the day, and step out of the hubbub for five minutes. One minute. Three breaths. However long you can. Tune in to sounds, tastes, smells around you. Tune in to the sensations of your body. Tune in to the energy of others, or the energy in the air. Tune in as many times as you can, and embrace Life and Living.

Living is a sacred art, and you are the artist. In this moment, mold the clay of Life into what you would see it become.

No, this post is just a quick reminder to flow with life, wherever it takes you. And, as usual, no moral is good without a story, so buckle up.

I studied music in school. Well, I was fortunate enough to study abroad in London. I’d never traveled anywhere on my own, and I had made the decision to apply on a whim. I had come from a very small town, so going to one of the “biggest”, most historical cities in the world, knowing no one… Well, you can guess I was exhilarated and terrified at the same time.

At first I traveled by underground (subway). It was the fastest, most economical way to get from place to place. (It also seemed the best way to not get lost). But then I realized I was missing everything. The city. The sites, sounds & smells.

So I graduated myself to bus. This… was way more exciting. To a small-town kid, everything is interesting and full of wonder. I became familiar with the routes to St. Paul’s Cathedral, Westminster Abbey & Parliament, Royal Albert Hall. Everywhere.

Studying art and music, our assignments were to visit the world’s famous museums, and to attend concerts of renown artists. (Terrible, right?) Well, I was going to be late to one evening’s performances, so I decided to hop a cab. “St. Martin-in-the-Field, please. And hurry,” I said.

“Yep,” the cabbie replied, and headed out. To my dismay, the driver headed in the opposite direction. I repeated, “No, St. Martin-in-the-Field!” He shouted something back to me, but his accent was too thick, I couldn’t understand. I sat back, bouncing my foot, and fretting as we wound through the streets of London. (Oh, and if you haven’t seen a map, I suggest you try. There’s no making heads nor tails of that place). I knew the main routes from place to place, but we were in God’s territory as far as I knew.

Half an hour later, we pulled up to the church that was my destination. I was shocked. As I handed the cabbie his fare, he said something again. This time I was able to make out “rush hour.” See, he knew the streets, and the city, far better than me. He didn’t take the most direct route, but he had chosen the fastest route.

And, the moral… Life is like that. Often we take the passenger’s seat as we wind around unfamiliar territory. But our job is to relax, and trust the Driver. See, in life, we are never lost. We are all accounted for. We will all arrive at our destination, so it’s ok to relax and enjoy the ride. In London, I didn’t see a single thing on that cab ride, because I was so busy worrying, caught in my mind thinking we should be going a different direction. Who knows what I missed out on?

My friends, don’t miss out on life thinking you’re where you shouldn’t be. Embrace your life, and every adventure that comes your way. Brave new territory. And after it all, you will arrive at your destination, on time.